You Like Me! You Really Like Me! Seven Ways To Boost Your Popularity Online.

So you thought you left high school far behind? All those cliques and crowds and cool kids? The fads, the fashion, the frenzy to be popular?

Well, guess what? It’s baaaack.

But as most of you well know, in the Web 2.0 era, it’s called Social Media. And just like in high school, how someone winds up as a popular kid on the social networking sites has been largely a mystery. Until now.

Today we’re de-mystifying the puzzling path to popularity online, starting with these 7 tips:

Smile
A recent study by British psychologists proved that smiling in your profile picture may add up to more friends. What the researchers found after conducting research on Facebook was that smiling students were surrounded by others who were also smiling in small “happiness clusters.” Those who were not smiling seem to be located more peripherally in the network. After performing statistical analysis, they determined that those who smile also tend to have more friends - on average one extra friend, which is good considering that people only tend to have six close friends. Those who smiled were also more likely to be at the center of the network when compared to those who don’t. Wanna boost your popularity? Show those pearlies!

Pick the right social network for you
The sheer number of social networking sites can be daunting. But like High School, that doesn’t mean you should join everything from Chamber Singers to Student Council to Goths R Us. Visit the sites you find interesting but don’t feel pressured to sign up. If you’re networking for business, you can actually hurt your company’s online reputation if you sign up, visit once or twice, and then never return. Especially in this economy — not keeping up with your profile may leave the impression that your business has closed (or you’ve been fired.) So choose your sites carefully — not even Sally Field could be ‘really, really’ liked everywhere.

It’s nice to be important. But it’s more important to be nice.
Okay, so it’s corny. But there’s a reason we all secretly nod right along with this old adage — it’s true. Being nice to the newbie who has just tweeted for the first time and is trying to grow his Twitter account; replying with a ‘Thanks for the follow’; or commenting with an @ response is one of the secrets of being one of the popular kids on Twitter. Making a practice of automatically Following the person who Followed you (unless someone appears to be an obvious spammer) is another way to be ‘really, really liked.’

Here’s another vintage truism: Don’t worry about being interesting. Be interested instead.

We live in a world of Me Media. Every post, every tweet, every comment is all about ME, ME, ME. This is why it is so refreshing online when someone steps outside their universe and pays attention to yours. Maybe they actually read your blog and leave an insightful comment. Maybe they pick up on something you tweeted and take the conversation offline, so it can go beyond 140 characters. Maybe they listen to your job woes — and send you a link from a job post that sounds just like you.

Make your online connection more powerful — meet in person.

At the recent WOMMA Summit in Vegas, Jason Anello, Ideologist at Yahoo, talked about the power of tieing online experiences to the real world, citing the value of tapping into all our senses, especially touch. ‘We’re not seeing each other anymore’ — and even our communications, like email, are missing inflection and emotion. So when we do connect in the real world, the online bond actually strengthens. It’s not always possible to actually see your buddy in Taipei or the Dalmatian Islands in the flesh. But if you do have the chance to tweet-up, meet-up or attend events with your online friends, go for it.

Learn the (underground) rules and play by them.

Each social networking site has its own ‘underground’ rules beyond the obvious FAQs. For example, some people won’t accept a Facebook friend request if they haven’t met the Requester in person. On Twitter, some users won’t return the Follow if the Tweeter hasn’t filled out a profile or posted relevant account information. If your Facebook friend or Linkedin connection request seems to be eternally pending, this may be a tactful way of declining. (Related to ‘I’m washing my hair that night’ or ‘my cousin’s in town that weekend’ during Prom season.) Keep in mind that many users divide their social networks into personal or business and prefer not to blend the two. Your Linkedin connection may not want to check out the youtube of your pre-schooler’s star turn as as SpongeBob or your Emo alter ego on MySpace Music.

Be real.
That’s the whole point of social networking. Be a real, expressive, honest to goodness person. Don’t just shoot links, post self-serving Status updates or in general, use social networks in a way that increases the already-ballooning bogus quotient. Authenticity is the new cool.

Sympvertising Alert: Jones NY Promotes Closet Surfing for Style.

After surviving several days worth of the What Not To Wear Marathon , I was particularly psyched to hear about the launch of a new video series from fashion retailer Jones New York called JNY Style Miles. In a unique and timely display of sympvertising, Jones New York is actually encouraging women to shop in their own closets this season — in search of forgotten fashion treasures, style revivals and skirts and shirts with possible second lives.

Come Self-Improvement month (January), they’ll launch a 12-part online video series on jny.com, which aims to aid style-seeking ladies in the daunting task of looking chic on a budget. Hosted by style guru Lloyd Boston (seen on estro-shows such as The View and The Today Show), the webisodes will focus on women and their current wardrobes. Helping shoppers reevaluate the clothing they already own, Boston will teach viewers how to give new life to old pieces, with just a few key supplements from Jones New York. Shoulder pads anyone?

Guru’s Note: Bay area fashionistas can do more than merely surf for style– they can call on the local Style gurus at Urban Darling who love nothing more than roto-routering through your closet and unearthing your buried gems. Chic-Chief Corinne is near legendary in her ability to help up-the-image for that job interview or big date.

Dogs Rule. Marley & Me Breaks Box Office Records.

The only reason I am posting this happy box office news is because I like the dog. Yeah, Owen Wilson’s sorta hunky and Jennifer Aniston, well that naked cover is certainly revenge on Brangelina, but in my world, Dogs Rule. Plus Marley is the same color as my Bradley, that is, when said pup has not been out rolling in the muddy hills of Carmel Valley with his buddies, the foxes.

ET reports:
The Christmas Day release of Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson’s new film ‘Marley & Me’ has already broken a box office record.

Twentieth Century Fox says the film hit $14.8 million in ticket sales at the box office, making it the highest grossing film to ever open on December 25, says Variety. ‘Marley & Me’ breaks the previous record of $10.2 million set by ‘Ali’ in 2001.

Also expected to break the previous record with an estimated $11.8 million is ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ starring Brad Pitt, and ‘Bedtime Stories’ starring Adam Sandler, which pulled in an estimated $10.5 million, according to Variety.

Don’t Want Your Kids To Grow Up Talking Like Elmo? Better Check Out This List of Best Educational Toys from Parenting Expert Sherry Artemenko.

Parenting expert Sherry Younger Artemenko and I bonded over Mattel’s talking-doll-classic, Chatty Cathy, a zillion years ago. Sherry’s Cathy was pristine; its blonde hair curled, coiffed and Christmas-present perfect. (My Cathy’s hair had been ‘re-styled’ by my brothers.) Her Cathy’s outfit was still neat and clean. (No comment.) Her Cathy still had its patent leather shoes. (I was simply glad my Cathy still had a foot.)

So it was no surprise that over the years, Sherry has morphed into a primo parenting expert, with a string of prestigious degrees (M.A., C.C.) and robust experience working with children to improve their speech and language, serving as a speech language pathologist in both the public and private school systems and private practice.

To help parents navigate the chaos known as the holiday shopping season, she’s released this carefully researched list of Best Educational Toys to Build Language. The list is a savvy blend of age-specific new and old favorites accompanied by Sherry’s educational tips.

Here is a sample — visit Sherry’s parent-friendly, content-rich site, Playonwords.com, to read the whole list.

Birth-1 years and up

eebee’s Adventure Play Mat and Play House (6 months to 3 years): Every now and then a toy comes along that I get really excited about. This is one. Maybe because I had an older brother and he was always making forts out of our couch cushions and planting me inside with a bowl of popcorn! This colorful set of foam sections, attachable with Velcro strips, invites your child to make a house and climb right in. Every day he can make a new creation, lift the curtain to peek out the window, catch a glimpse in the mirror, crawl through the circular hole or have a chat with a eebee’s life size face. crawling babies enjoy exploring the vibrant, textured panels even when they are laid out flat.

Language Building Tips: Follow your child’s interest and describe the colors, textures, and features of the panels. Use action verbs to name what your child is doing such as going “in” “out” or “through.” Provide a few additional props for an older toddler such as a play dishes for a picnic or tea party.

Guru’s Note: Pictured above is the toy *I* want. It’s called Chocolate Fix and I need it now. Hear that, Santa?

Sherry says:
Chocolate Fix by ThinkFun Inc (8 and up): This gold award winner from Parents Choice is a feast of fun! Take turns filling your customer’s orders at the chocolate shoppe. Flip to the page of visual clues on where to put your 9 tempting treats in three flavors and three shapes. Let’s see, the pink square chocolate is next to the dark circle chocolate. In the grid of nine positions, the chocolatier has to solve all the clues to place the pieces in just the right spot. With several levels of play, kids and adults are entertained. An added language building value is that kids love to role-play as the chocolatier and the customer.

Attention MotrinGate Moms! This Ad’s Not For You.

Clearly, ad agency Milk, in Lithuania, has never met a Twitter Mom. Or heard about the recent MotrinGate twitterstorm. This is print ad was created for maternity magazines. The double-spread shows a breastfeeding Mom and her baby. The two pages are glued together. Once you tear them off of each other, the baby’s mouth tears off the nipple, demonstrating how painful breastfeeding can be — unless you use Garmastan lotion.

Thanks toIbelieveinadv.com.

How About An Old Fashioned Friend Request?

“One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night.”

Deep in the woods, where it is darkest and only the moon knows its way, there stands a cabin. By all rights, it should be pitch black and cold, silent in the mute of the night. But a passing neighbor, out running with the dogs in the frosty air, has paused long enough to switch on an old copper lantern. It glows amber, warming the way to the cabin.

In this season where aloneness may suddenly turn lonely, we need to do what this neighbor has done. We need to leave a light on for each other.

Census reports tell us that more and more people are living alone. Old, young, single, divorced, whatever . . . we are living solitary lives by choice or by circumstance.

Living by oneself can be a glory of solitude or it can be an ordeal. Most often it’s both; like so much else in life, shifting portions of heaven and of hell. During the holidays, many who normally revel in living life at their own pace, suddenly feel a pang. Logical or not, we all have embedded in us like genetic markers, memories of Christmases past. Few of them truly were Hallmark specials . . . but that tends to be forgotten when the strains of Silent Night start twisting their way in and around our hearts.

So how about leaving the light on for those pals of yours, that cousin or cube-mate or neighbor? How about making the phone call, dropping by, or inviting your buddy, the one who always seems so independent, so thoroughly self-sufficient, for Christmas dinner? How about going beyond writing on your friend’s Facebook wall or tweeting ‘Happy Holidays’ in 140 characters?

I am not talking neediness here . . . or even making the assumption that everyone who lives alone is rattling with loneliness. I am simply suggesting that we look beyond our own very busy noses during this season . . . because maybe, just maybe, that house down the road has been shrouded in darkness for too long.

What about that pal of yours from the office who can’t get a flight home . . . and what of your friend who’s newly separated and away from her children for the first Christmas Eve ever? And what of the legions of newly laid-off — more than 110,000 in technology alone? So many of us are facing upheaval of all kinds. So many of us are newly uncertain on our paths. So many are searching for a beacon.

Amidst all the blazing lights of December, the one you leave on for a friend may be the brightest.

International Real Person Week Officially Launches on December 26, 2008.

I love social media.

I’ve loved it since it was called ‘community’ way back in the dinosaur age of eworld’s Town Square, AOL’s million-members-a-day chat rooms, Prodigy and Compuserve, MOO, MUD, IRC and late great avatar pioneer, The Palace.

What I don’t love is how easy it is to go for an eternity without actually talking to your dearest friends and family. Remember talking? Talking with your voice — not your vox. Talking aka picking up the telephone to use said voice to mouth actual words. Not texting. Not pinging. Not posting or tweeting. But actually generating words that often emerge kinda sloppy amidst saliva and lukewarm latte. Words that haven’t been bud-urled or tweetdecked. Words that may have ’status’ or ‘mood’ but probably add up to more than 140 characters.

Gee-whiz technology has just made it so damn simple to virtually skip humanity altogether, hasn’t it? Yes, I know all the benefits of our tweeting, bleating global online village shooting ’share not sell’ links at each other 24/7. And much of this is to the good. Fascinating, in fact. It’s just that sound can be so lovely. As in that joyful screech: “Honey, get in here! It’s SARAH and she’s on the PHONE!”

Then there’s the Lost Art of Face Time. Also known as f2f. Being up-close-and-personal frequently means being within garlic breath and boot-stink range. This is where the basic grooming techniques taught at your Girl Scout mother-and-daughter Hygiene Day may come in handy. Photoshopping your profile or even Elfing Yourself is of no use here. In person is as real as it gets; it’s Velveteen Rabbit real.

So I’m going to start the Real Person ball rolling here and officially declare December 25 through New Year’s Day, 2009 as the first annual International Real Person Week. During IRP, you take the Pledge to:

• Call your old friends, frenenemies, cousin Tim, Aunt JuJu, Uncle Willie, second grade lockermate, JDJSEGS buddies (you know who you are, Liz and Sherry), anybody who deserves to hear you utter vowels and consonants — at least one per day during IRP
• Have face to face — that is, IN PERSON meetings (not Meet Ups or Tweet Ups or any mash-up of this concept) — at least one per day during IRP.

Of course feel free to continue to Social Media to the Max during IRP.  The week is not meant to be either/or … Real vs Virtual … be as uber-social as you want.  But I’m going to ask you to do one thing — and that is to view this oldie-but-goodie (now 35,216,597 views) one more time to remember how amazing it is to be human.

Twaddiction Alert! The new favorite on Twitter: @themediaisdying.

Everybody’s newest Twitter addiction in this season of lay-offs, dead pools, pub-downs and reorgs is @themediaisdying. So far, I’ve not managed to unearth exactly who this frequent tweeter is. All I know is his/her tweets appear to be devastatingly dead on. The media as we have known it is rapidly going poof, with old standbys and famous companies taking the hit. @themediaisdying, operating from ‘Earth’, is proportedly ‘helping flaks pitch better and update lists.’

Coming in the wake of recent events focusing on “Is Social Media Killing PR?” (Jennifer Leggio aka Mediphyter has a terrific and thoughtful post on this), it’s clear the above mentioned flaks better start roto-routing their Blackberry/iPhone addressbooks.

This cut-and-dried coverage feels radically different from the days of the dotcom era meltdown when Phil Kaplan’s F*cked Company (congratulations on your recent engagement, Phil) site regularly and comically chronicled the demise of the puffed-up, IPO-fueled e-businesses. In those days we all had a hefty case of schadenfreude as we happily watched the e-brats lose their pre-Threadless shirts and pre-Tesla test cars.

Now, while we may be fascinated by @themediaisdying and similar sites with lay-off coverage — AllthingsD and TechCrunch — I don’t think anyone is laughing all the way to the bank. (We’re too busy bailing them out)

Guru’s Note: Once you’ve followed @themediaisdying, feel free to follow me, too: @guruofnew

Unilever Mashes Up Social Media with Market Research for Alaska Campaign.

I am very excited about my trip to Alaska tomorrow to meet with the ATIA. We’ll be discussing The Ten Commandments of Social Media – and the above ‘Prescribe The Nation’ campaign from Unilever for Vaseline successfully follows all ten of them. I love the blend of ethnography with social media; it’s a great way for marketers to first understand the ‘Conversation’ that’s already well underway and then jump in appropriately. This is what Motrin tried to do — instead they got Mom-stormed on Twitter.

Stay tuned for updates from gorgeous Alaska.

The Big Three That’s *Not* Asking for Money and Why They Should Go to Washington Instead.

All day long we’ve been hearing about two different sets of The Big Three.

There’s The Big Three from Detroit, now jetless and nibbling on humble pie as they carpool it to Washington armed with their freshly minted ’strategic’ plans so they can continue to troll for trillions.

Then there’s The Big Three from California, who in heated competition, each released new technology that’s projected to generate some hefty revenue.

An excerpt from today’s Seeking Alpha:

The three horse race between Facebook, Google, and MySpace to achieve dominance in the internet identity space doesn’t appear to be letting up any. It isn’t a mere coincidence that both Facebook and Google have announced their public launches on the same day; both are struggling to establish themselves as the de facto standard for both developers and end users. MySpace managed to beat out both Facebook and Google months ago when it publicly launched its service.

Which is why I wholeheartedly agree with the mavericky (and oddly charged) Mark Cuban who declared mere days after the Election that Obama had made his 1st big mistake.

Unfortunately, the economic advisory team that he has put together looks more like a semester’s worth of great guest speakers for an MBA class than an economic advisory team that can truly help him.

There are a lot of great minds on the list.

“Robert Rubin, Larry Summers, Laura Tyson, who served as Clinton’s top economic adviser; former Fed Vice Chairman Roger Ferguson; Time Warner Inc. Chairman Richard Parsons; former Securities and Exchange Commission chairman William Donaldson and Xerox Corp. Chief Executive Officer Anne Mulcahy.

Google Inc. CEO Eric Schmidt, Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm and Roel Campos, an ex-SEC commissioner, and Warren Buffett are also on the advisory board.”

Notice anything missing ?

Not a single entrepreneur. Yes Warren Buffett started a business, but he will be the first to tell you that he “doesn’t do start ups”. Which means there isn’t a single person advising PE Obama that we know of that knows that its like to start and run a business in this or any economic climate. That’s a huge problem.

So here we are in the midst of a (insert scary word), (insert scarier word) recession, with the media convincing us that we all should be cowed and question ‘the American way’, and yet these Big Three geeks are still scrapping in the schoolyard to beat each other to the punch. Silicon Valley and its neighbors to the South practice a quirky version of spiritual capitalism, worshipping gamesmanship and brainpower, and it’s this bootstrapping version of business that needs to be well represented in Washington as President Elect Obama assembles his economic team.

Certainly, the man who used social media to the max in his winning campaign has to include brainiacs beyond academics, politicians and big business, yes?

Guru’s Note: Thankfully, Eric Schmidt of Google is on board, although has reportedly turned down the first-ever office of CTO.

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