Welcome to the St. Regis Spa for Stressed Out AIG Executives.

October 8, 2008 by admin · 2 Comments
Filed under: government 



Situated high on a bluff overlooking the majestic Pacific Ocean, stands a landmark resort of legendary proportions. Located midway between Los Angeles and San Diego, the Tuscan-inspired St. Regis Resort, Monarch Beach is devoted to the pursuit of service and elegance with a seamless blend of comfort and technology.

This then is the so-called resort where a valiant team of our nation’s finest business visionaries — the brave men and women of AIG — went to fight the good fight. For days, they raged against stress and burn-out. They rose up against carpal tunnel. They strenuously resisted not only seriously clogged pores but also jet lag and beard irritation.

Less than one week after the stress-inducing bailout perpetrated by our anti-Pilates government, these courageous executives had the sheer moxie to jump on a jet and face the cold, unforgiving waters of the Pacific, armed only with 9 irons.

Read on for the excruciating tale of what they endured during that fateful $443,344 business trip. While some of the details may be gutwrenching, (send the children to play Spore) know this: ultimately, when the Chardonnay Sugar Scrubs and the deep hydrating masks were but a painful memory, triumph (and tighter pores) was theirs.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?

Filled with natural light and adorned with water fountains, Spa Gaucin is located in the center of the resort and caters to couples. In addition to 18 treatment rooms, it has five couple’s suites and a variety of couple’s packages. Continuing the resort’s Tuscan theme, the Wine Escape package includes a wine bath, and the Mediterranean Meltaway includes an espresso bath; both are complemented by glasses of wine and a cheese plate. Other packages offer private yoga instruction and guided meditation.

While each detail has not yet been revealed, we do know that some of the potential ‘treatments’ may have included:

Mediterranean Massage Light to medium pressure strokes are executed with a hydrating Chardonnay grape seed massage oil. This signature service concludes with an aromatic fig and cassis body butter applied after a warm, tension releasing back compress.

60 min - $175
90 min - $260

Just For Men The Just for Men Facial is specifically designed to address the unique concerns of men, targeting irritation caused by shaving, as well as congestion. This treatment begins with a deep cleansing, gentle exfoliation and extractions. Skin will then be revitalized with a customized treatment mask followed by a relaxing shoulder massage. The result is clearer, balanced and hydrated skin.

60 min - $175
90 min - $260

Tomato Basil Nourishing Wrap Nourish tired skin with this active ingredient wrap. Packed full of antioxidants and moisture imbedding properties, your body will devour the extracts of orange fruit, olive leaf, rosemary leaf, and lavender flowers.

60 min - $175
75 min - $215

Mediterranean Harmony Two therapists perform a choreographed massage in harmony. The service is complete with our signature warm back compress and fig and cassis body butter back massage. The result of this four-handed massage is total mind/body relaxation.

60 min - $350

Intuitive Massage A customized massage experience that begins with a consultation with your therapist to determine your body and energy needs. The massage technique and desired outcome are developed by you and your therapist creating a symbiotic experience for both.

Dermal Quench This is the ultimate hydration treatment! Oxygen, vitamins, and hyaluronic serum combine under hyperbaric pressure to deliver unparalleled hydration and age-defying results. This delightfully relaxing and nurturing treatment results in instantly healthier, younger, and plumper skin. An ideal treatment right before a special event, while recovering from jet lag, or for an amazing glow.

60 min - $225
90 min - $335

At the end of AIG’s brave journey back to wellbeing (if not wealth) we are left with these poignant words from the ‘Spa’ itself:

We invite you to begin your celebration of life, love, and wellness with the tradition of our coin toss into the Spa Gaucin Well of Desires.

“Every moment of life is worth a celebration.”

(Especially on someone else’s nickel)

Guru’s Note: AIG received an $85 billion taxpayer bailout from the federal government on September 16. Less than a week after being rescued, AIG executives blew through almost $500,000 of taxpayer bailout funds at a week-long retreat at the St. Regis Monarch Beach Resort in Orange County, California.

Here’s how they spent our money:
$147,302 for banquets
$139,375 on rooms
$23,380 for spa services
$6,939 for golf
$5,016 at the Stonehill Tavern
$3,065 for in-room dining and the lobby lounge
$2,949 for gratuities
$1,901 at the Monarch Bayclub
and $1,488 at the resort’s Vogue Salon

Source: OC Watchdog

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“I’m A Focus Group Moderator and I Approved Obama’s New TV Commercial.

June 21, 2008 by admin · Leave a comment.
Filed under: New Stuff, Uncategorized, government, marketing & advertising, media & publishing, politics 


As a veteran market researcher and focus group moderator, I usually can spot Projective Exercises like Perceptual Mind Maps or ‘Design Your Ideal Product’ techniques.  Sometimes smart ad agency creatives, if they’re not too engrossed in either the Merlot or the M & Ms in the viewing room, pluck verbatims from the groups and sneak them into television commercials. There are countless anecdotes about this – like the classic McDonald’s theme “You deserve a break today”, which supposedly emerged during a focus group in Chicago.

One of the reasons to conduct focus groups is the off-chance that an expressive respondent in Cleveland will blurt out something so right on and real that it can quickly be transformed into a tagline or campaign that resonates authenticity. Another reason is to further understand what’s polarizing about potential products — in this case, fully figure out how Obama can satisfy the wants, needs and hopes of Hillary supporters who continued to passionately plead the case clear through to the bitter-end of Puerto Rico and South Dakota. And then there’s grokking to the likely toolkit of Karl Rove-style tricks that are already being emailed 24/7.

The minute I saw Barack Obama’s new television commercial “The Country I Love” now slated to appear in some 18 states starting this month, I knew that market researchers everywhere were nodding. The spot is so tightly targeted even a marketing newbie can’t miss the strategic genius in this commercial. Every sentence and shot, from the very visible flag pin to the neighborhoods ‘devastated when steel plants closed’ is perfectly calculated to resoundingly answer those persistent questions. Not only is the ghost of Hillary most decidedly flickering about but so are other symbols of white America — like Barack’s mother and grandparents. Carefully designed to be warmly reassuring with its message of Heartland working class character and values, this spot is a classic example of smoothly going from Me Media to We Media.

Much of this affecting and effective 60 seconds is subliminal.  While it’s all about heading off the negatives, it never feels anything but positive.

I only wish I’d been the Moderator facilitating those Perceptual Mind Maps.

Here’s the full transcript: (video link above)

OBAMA: I’m Barack Obama.

America is a country of strong families and strong values. My life’s been blessed by both.

I was raised by a single mom and my grandparents. We didn’t have much money, but they taught me values straight from the Kansas heartland where they grew up. Accountability and self-reliance. Love of country. Working hard without making excuses. Treating your neighbor as you’d like to be treated. It’s what guided me as I worked my way up – taking jobs and loans to make it through college.

It’s what led me to pass up Wall Street jobs and go to Chicago instead, helping neighborhoods devastated when steel plants closed.

That’s why I passed laws moving people from welfare to work, cut taxes for working families and extended health care for wounded troops who’d been neglected.

I approved this message because I’ll never forget those values, and if I have the honor of taking the oath of office as President, it will be with a deep and abiding faith in the country I love.

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