Yahoo! to Microsoft: “I’m Just Not That Into You.”

According to the New York Times, Yahoo has once again spurned an offer from Microsoft. The proposal came late Friday evening from Alpha-Suitors Steve Ballmer and Carl Icahn. Yahoo was given 24-hours to make its decision, which is like really random when it’s so last-minute and on a Friday night (when we usually pretend to be out with Google or maybe Rupert) and feels way like a booty call.

But just hours into the speed-date, spitfire Yahoo decided to play hard to get, bad-mouthing Microsoft to like everybody in the whole entire world, calling the proposal ‘ludricrous’ and like ‘erratic, unpredictable’ and ‘bludgeoning’ and probably even posting on its Super Wall.

Part of Yahoo’s hurt feelings resistance appears to come from the fact that Microsoft now only has eyes for its search business. Rather accept this new pieces-parts strategy, in which Co-Suitor Mr. Icahn, would have taken over the remaining parts of the company, Yahoo insists on being loved truly, madly deeply ‘just as I am.’ Then it went back to lying on its bed with like zillions of pillows and watching old Billie Holiday ‘All of Me’ videos on youtube.