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It’s the Recession, Stupid. Introducing the New Recession Etiquette.

February 8, 2009 by guruofnew  
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Guru’s Note: This post was originally published last October, which is why the numbers below seem positively rosy in comparison to the first weeks of February. I’m republishing it because a little nudge about being kind to each other feels like a good idea.

First, let’s look at what’s happening out there:

  • 44,000+ layoffs in the tech industry alone
  • Consumer confidence at an all-time low
  • House values down by an average of 17%
  • Ed McMahon’s house now owned by Donald Trump
  • Mother’s Cookies crumbled.

With these sorry facts in hand, it may be time to foreclose on our existing Rules of Etiquette. Especially old chestnuts like ‘the one with the most toys wins’ and anything that includes the words ‘disruptors, Tesla, bling, or second-round-of-funding.’

Here are the New Rules of Recession Etiquette:

1. The Basics: Greetings.
Now more than ever, the appropriate greeting when you run into a friend at Costco is ‘How do you do?’ rather than ‘What do you do?’ or even ‘Wassup?’ which might imply that something actually IS up, which in the world of the unemployed is seldom true.
2. Bling’s Not The Thing: Conspicuous consumption is the new taboo.
Buying our way out of this mess is not going to work this time. Even if retail therapy does give you — and some industries — a bit of a lift, what’s required today is new perspective on what it means to be a consumer. Whatever you do, don’t chatter about your trip to Pebble Beach to that contractor-without-a-contract friend. And if you’re a global giant or a small business, remember: it’s all about showing some sympathy — and offering a good deal. Springwise calls it sympvertising.
3. If Your House is a very very very nice house . . .
Now is not the time to invite your under-employed buddies over to watch a Keynote of your trip on Elon Musk’s spaceship or see your new 6,000 square foot eco-addition with the sustainable bamboo floors you personally harvested during your babymoon trip to Vietnam. Now is the time to share leftover coupons and sign up for Freecycle.
4. Part-ay! (Not.)
So your best pals always throw an annual Rose Bowl Party, complete with buckets of rose-petaled Perrier Jouet and hand rolled eel. Maybe this year you should suggest a new tradition — the Pot Luck Supper.
5. At least 50% are faking it. And I don’t mean the Harry met Sally kind. (That number is higher)
The social media mania, already at hysteria level, is bound to intensify, partially because it’s largely FREE and partially because, in the right hands, it works. But those making the most noise are not necessarily the ones that should be. If you’re that (too rare) company looking for an employee or consultant, put on your waders before you venture into the teeming talent pool to find the right hire. Make sure that expert really has tangible skills beyond personal branding. There’s a lot of bogus out there. It’s not merely good etiquette to vette your candidates, it’s a really great idea.
6. Don’t just friend request. Be a real friend.
Remember real friends? Real friends don’t have to be face to face; they can be virtual but in either case, they both act the same way. They’re sensitive to the silences (Friday is layoff day?), they’re sensitive to canceled lunch and drink plans (your friend may not want to spend $20 for an pile of arugula); they’re sensitive to e-moods (“I emailed you 5 hours ago. Why haven’t you answered?”) and they’re sensitive to quickly accepting Facebook, Linkedin, Plaxo, etc. requests and posting comments on blogs. If a friend suddenly wants to build a network, figure out what a tweet is, or asks about SEO, offer to help or steer him to an expert. She may know she’s about to be out on the street but is not wanting to spill it to the world quite yet.  
7. The Golden Rule Still Rules.
Yep, that good old do unto others as they would do unto you stuff still rocks. Remember also another great saying: You see the same people on the way down as you did on the way up. There are lots of corporate rockstars who played it political to get a Director’s title. They may be surprised by how many of their emails don’t get answered after the purge.
8. We’re all in this together.
So we got screwed. Now we need to help each other get through this. Etiquette, according to expert Emily Post, is essentially tied to a “fundamental code of honor, without strict observance of which no one, no matter how “polished,” can be considered a gentleman or lady.” Or in the immortal words of The Killers: “Are we human?”

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The Big Three That’s *Not* Asking for Money and Why They Should Go to Washington Instead.

December 5, 2008 by guruofnew  
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All day long we’ve been hearing about two different sets of The Big Three.

There’s The Big Three from Detroit, now jetless and nibbling on humble pie as they carpool it to Washington armed with their freshly minted ‘strategic’ plans so they can continue to troll for trillions.

Then there’s The Big Three from California, who in heated competition, each released new technology that’s projected to generate some hefty revenue.

An excerpt from today’s Seeking Alpha:

The three horse race between Facebook, Google, and MySpace to achieve dominance in the internet identity space doesn’t appear to be letting up any. It isn’t a mere coincidence that both Facebook and Google have announced their public launches on the same day; both are struggling to establish themselves as the de facto standard for both developers and end users. MySpace managed to beat out both Facebook and Google months ago when it publicly launched its service.

Which is why I wholeheartedly agree with the mavericky (and oddly charged) Mark Cuban who declared mere days after the Election that Obama had made his 1st big mistake.

Unfortunately, the economic advisory team that he has put together looks more like a semester’s worth of great guest speakers for an MBA class than an economic advisory team that can truly help him.

There are a lot of great minds on the list.

“Robert Rubin, Larry Summers, Laura Tyson, who served as Clinton’s top economic adviser; former Fed Vice Chairman Roger Ferguson; Time Warner Inc. Chairman Richard Parsons; former Securities and Exchange Commission chairman William Donaldson and Xerox Corp. Chief Executive Officer Anne Mulcahy.

Google Inc. CEO Eric Schmidt, Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm and Roel Campos, an ex-SEC commissioner, and Warren Buffett are also on the advisory board.”

Notice anything missing ?

Not a single entrepreneur. Yes Warren Buffett started a business, but he will be the first to tell you that he “doesn’t do start ups”. Which means there isn’t a single person advising PE Obama that we know of that knows that its like to start and run a business in this or any economic climate. That’s a huge problem.

So here we are in the midst of a (insert scary word), (insert scarier word) recession, with the media convincing us that we all should be cowed and question ‘the American way’, and yet these Big Three geeks are still scrapping in the schoolyard to beat each other to the punch. Silicon Valley and its neighbors to the South practice a quirky version of spiritual capitalism, worshipping gamesmanship and brainpower, and it’s this bootstrapping version of business that needs to be well represented in Washington as President Elect Obama assembles his economic team.

Certainly, the man who used social media to the max in his winning campaign has to include brainiacs beyond academics, politicians and big business, yes?


Guru’s Note: Thankfully, Eric Schmidt of Google is on board, although has reportedly turned down the first-ever office of CTO.

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