How Many Followers Did You Lose in Twitter’s Great Spam Purge?

If you’ve been noticing your Twitter follower count plummeting, don’t despair. They weren’t real tweeps anyway. It’s simply Twitter cracking down on random bots — including those pesky pornbots — and spam accounts that auto-follow people.

Twitter calls it ‘correcting’ follower and following counts. We call it the Great Twitter Spam Purge of 2009, because we like to make up mnemonic devices and clever names. If we could add a kitten logo, we would. In the meantime, from the Twitter blog comes this explanation:

For some time, the follower and following counts we display have been incorrect for some folks. We’re soon to push a change that will address this issue. This means that the count you see in your sidebar should match what you see on your follower and following pages.

However, a consequence of this change is that follower counts will drop for some people. In particular, those with large followings may see significant changes as we correct for spam accounts and data inconsistencies. No legitimate followings should be affected—we’re just cleaning up artifacts in the system.

The Purge is all the buzz on Twitter, with most tweeters waxing philosophical.

ResaMichelle: Twitter did a spam purge.. consequently, we all lost a lot of followers. I think it’s worth the loss…

amylizza: I see that after the spam purge, I’m back over 200 followers. Thank you so much to all my new followers & friends. I love you all!

eggboxrobin: Thank you for the updates re spam purge, I’m appreciating the deep-clean!

littlegingerkid: Just checked: I lost 42 followers in last week’s spam purge. I thought I was good at blocking the spammers. Maybe genuine ones went too?

Despite all this peaceful, no-petitions acceptance, there are people reporting losing all of their followers — and even some who claim there are more spammers now than before the Purge.

So what should you do about all this, if anything? Use common sense, tweeps.

Here are 5 TellTale Signs Your New Follow Might Be A Spammer:

• Deliberately sexy profile picture. While there are tweeps who simply can’t hide their smokin’ hot babe-ish-ness or Absolute hunkiness no matter what photo they use, the majority have no problem posting a G-rated icon.
• No profile info at all. Before you follow someone back, you need to know at least a modicum about who they are. It’s okay, if goofy, if under Location, they say: The Universe, The Earth, Everywhere. It’s also very okay if under Location, they list: Tehran. Many tweeps switched their location to mask genuinely Iran-based tweeters during the recent elections. We also colored our profile pix green in support.
• No followers, no updates, disproportionate follows-to-followers. Sometimes this a truly a newbie — like my friend @emacdaddy4 who just signed on to Twitter. I verified that it was actually my buddy by checking her Following list and noting a mutual friend.  This method can work — but if the spammer is particularly devious, they’ll pick up an entire list.  If it looks suspicious, ask her pal directly.
• Dubious updates. Are the updates legitimate conversation, Re-tweets from people you’ve heard of, links from reputable sources? An often dead giveaway is a page full of #FollowFriday recommendations, with no comments, just @ after @ after @. These spammers are trying to provoke mass follows via #FF.
• Auto-DM (Direct Message) with spammy sales content. I am not a fan of any bot-related activity on Twitter.

Those are just some basics. Feel free to tweet me @guruofnew if you have questions or run into a rogue tweeter.

And from savvy blogger Thoughtpick comes a very useful list of The Top 5 Methods & Apps to Reduce Twitter Spam.

What Twitter Could Learn From America Online.

Go ahead and break out the rotten tomatoes. It’s near blasphemy to mention the much-maligned America Online in the same breath as today’s newest shooting star, Twitter. But digital anthropologists will remember that once upon a time, AOL was the rock star, replete with magazine covers, explosive growth and millions of addicted fans. The early America Online also had something all-too-few Internet darlings ever managed to achieve: a revenue-generating business model.

As one of AOL’s first Greenhouse Partners, I was there for a few of those shining years, soaking up the smarts from the likes of Ted Leonsis, Steve Case and more Harvard MBA’s than show at a Crimson football game.

What Twitter Could Learn From America Online

Lesson 1: User experience anyone? According to Nielsen, Twitter’s growth has skyrocketed to 10 million in the past couple of celebrity-fueled months. But despite lots of tweeps in the social media sandbox, very few are playing.

Here’s the real shocker from Hubspot:

• 54.9% of users have never tweeted
• 42.12 have only tweeted once.

Wimpy participation rates like this simply wouldn’t last for long in the young AOL. “Lurkers” in the chat rooms were encouraged to join the party by exuberant Chat Room Hosts, whose job it was to welcome newbies, manage flame wars and stimulate ‘repeat business.’ Nowhere were these savvy business practices more in evidence than in the Greenhouse properties, where our site survival was dependent on how long members stuck around. Our hosts were all pros at making chatters feel comfortable: {{{ MidnteLace!}}} @@>—>—–! We understood that everyone starts out as a Lurker. Our mission was to transform those silent on the sidelines into active participants.

Yes, of course it feels truly dippy now. We are all waay too cool for this kind of behavior. And yet? What if Twitter created a group of Tweeter Greeters? What if they used the new Verified Account badges for more than celebrities? What if they developed the 2009 version of Twitter Hosts, empowered to do what their AOL counterparts once did?

How many of the 54.9% who’ve never tweeted might join the conversation if they weren’t concerned about being an Accidental E-Hole? Or if they weren’t worried about inadvertently falling victim to Twitter spam, password scams or viruses? Or if they weren’t simply mystified by the endless stream of disconnected me-me-me broadcast tweets?

What if some of the 42.12% who’ve trepidatiously tweeted just once got an authentic reply from the Twitterverse? Inclusion is a magical thing. In the every-Tweeter-for-himself environment on Twitter, inclusion is the happy fairy dust that leads to high engagement.

Lesson 2:  Okay, we get it — you’re an understaffed, overworked, over-caffeinated start-up scraping by with only 50 employees (and 55 million in funding.)

So why not do what AOL did in those formative years? Tap into your masses of addicted Power Users the way America Online once did with the Community Leaders program. Most sites had CL helping with everything from managing message boards to chat rooms to content development. Community Leaders received free accounts in return — a hugely sought-after prize in those days of $2.95 an hour for AOL access.

Obviously, that model no longer exists — but what’s still in full and fervent swing is the heated desire of tweeps to venture behind the velvet rope. Imagine the avalanche of applicants if Twitter asked for volunteers. Imagine the avalanche of applicants if Twitter ‘paid’ these volunteers in customized Tweets (designated colors, fonts or graphics) or added them to the recommended Follows for new users– or invited them to exclusive volunteer events. How about a SXSW Tweet-up at Gingerman Pub?

I’m ready for those tomatoes now.

Do Not Use Twitter . . .

Trending on Twitter and topping Digg, this photoshopped parody would be completely laughable if tweeps hadn’t already used Twitter during arrests and earthquakes.

Love these:

circa1908: RT @ListenToLeon: Do Not Use Twitter iF yOu TyPe Liek tHiS.

ErinMarieHogan: Do Not Use Twitter is the fastest refreshing trending topic I’ve ever seen.

allonereaction: Do not use twitter to get laid…it’s lame!!

KeLauLi: RT @AwesomeChicken7: Do Not Use Twitter if you think it means you’ll become best friends with Demi Moore

LawlietJourney: Do not use twitter to make yourself seem cool,cuz honestly if ur on here were all noobs XD

Guru’s Note: Do Not Use Twitter for your brand unless it’s part of your holistic branding strategy.

What’s Tweetworthy in Your Town? Find Out What’s Happening from Happn.

I realized this weekend at #TWTRCON why Twitter is my favorite addiction:  it’s all new, all the time –a perpetual work-in-progress.  New tools and trends bubble up constantly. If you’re a new junkie like I am, Twitter is the uber-ultimate in shiny new toys. So of course you’re going to love this hot new trend-tracking site that tracks emerging trends in 52 different metro areas around the world.  Happn.in collects and aggregates popular phrases used on Twitter, showing you what people are twittering about in your city.  The five most popular phrases each hour are posted to the site — and then they’re tweeted three times a day to the happn.in Twitter account for each city. Right now, there are about 79,678 people following happn.in in 52 cities.

And here’s a special twist that the Monetizer in me loves:  Happn lets you sponsor tweets. It actually has a business model with a mini-revenue stream. Yowzaa!  I paid a Suze Ormand-pleasing $2 per sponsored tweet. So when tweeps read what’s hot in LA, SFBay, Seattle, London, Boston and New York over the next couple of days, they’ll also see <GURU OF NEW> with a link to my site.  If I popped $100 for a heavy-up campaign, it’s possible these sponsorships could actually generate some Guru brand awareness.  But in the meantime, it’s really a blast to watch as trends zip around the world — and practically droolworthy to see what’s hot in one city and decidedly not in another. 

Guru’s Note:  I begged Jay to add the Monterey Peninsula to its list of cool trend-setting cities. But unfortunately, not enough tweeps in our eco-paradise are tweeting. (At last count, there were probably 8 of us and that includes the new seahorse @MontereyAQ and Zen Otter @EmbassyMonterey.

But good news: Things may change soon with our upcoming Social Media Monterey Mini Camp. Stay tuned for details.

Wanted: Adventurous and Creative Clients. Must Be Willing To Experiment with New Research Tools.

Here’s a good working definition of Market Research:

An objective approach to finding solutions to problems in marketing. Involves qualitative and quantitative research and analysis of the findings to help marketers’ best target and reach their audiences.

For me, the operative phrases are finding solutions to problems and reach their audiences.Thanks to the emergence of Social Media, problems and solutions are the pulsebeat of our non-stop global online conversations. From the tell-it-like-it-is Power Mom bloggers to the 200 million+ Facebook members to the exploding Twitterverse, we’re chattering about everything from politics to products to people. As of December 2008, more than one billion of the world’s population is now on the Internet. Why on earth would market researchers resist these irresistible methodologies?

Here are my favorite new market research tools — I dare you, O Clients, to (hire me) to give these a try:

Twitter

Quick, easy and budget-friendly, Twitter is a goldmine of fresh consumer insights. It’s a global stream-of-consciousness on every topic imaginable. Plus, all kinds of tools and third-party services are available to convert raw data into actionable information including trends and hot topics.

Trendrr is my favorite for trend tracking and comparison. Its Twitter Search graphs are invaluable - virtually real-time, they provide graphing of keyword mentions by the hour.

Tweetmeme: Here’s how to find the most popular links on Twitter.

For your iPhone: Twitter Trend: This free app provides a tag cloud for looking at emerging trends on Twitter.

Twithority is an easy way to have the most recent Twitter trends tweeted to you. The links provide a view of Twitter trends based on both time and authority.

Hashtags.orgIf you were checking this site right now, you’d know that #liesboystell and #liesgirlstell are the numbers one and two hashtags of the moment.

Twist: Twist is a trip. Twist provides a graphical interface for trends and keywords on Twitter.

Facebook: While most of us are waiting for Facebook to do some serious monetizing via its growing datamine, in the meantime, there’s Facebook Lexicon. Lexicon aggregates and analyzes millions of Facebook Wall posts every day to provide a searchable database of trends over time. Users can query a single word or two-word combinations and compare as many as five strings per query. The results display a chart plotting the frequency with which the words are being discussed each day. All this is done automatically with no person reading individual Wall posts and all information aggregated anonymously to protect your privacy.

Brand Community Platforms Every brand researcher in existence has to be drooling over this hot new opportunity for brand-love: BzzAgents new Bzzscapes. Now brand passionistas can erect online altars to their favorites, then watch as fellow fans join in, adding their own content to the social media mix. Will the overzealous (companies included) try to game the system? How organic and authentic can these sites be?

Private Online Communities: From Ning to Communispace, building your own private online community is easier than ever and can be valuable low-risk market research tool. These ‘walled gardens’ are a safe place to engage your with best opt-in customers, test ideas, evaluate user experience and experiment with new initiatives.

Projective Expression/Journaling Platforms
Glogsterbrings graphic blogging to the masses, and just happens to be a promising online ‘projective expression’ tool, similar to the popular Focus Group technique: Collaging. The service is focused on letting people create “posters” of various bits of premade and user-generated content. Using the right tools, Glogster users can create colorful stuff with a distinct visual style — one that could be used to represent “My Customer Service Experience with Yahoo” or “If I Could Invent My Own Perfect Hair Color It Would Be …”

Glogster offers private .edu accounts, which could be used for corporate market research.

Another site, Scrapblog, lets users create personalized scrapbooks with photos, video and thousands of creative elements, and also lets them print the scrapblogs. They’ve added top scrapbooking designers with high-quality content that’s available to purchase. The problem with this site is the user is locked into Scrapblog’s formatting — which does not even provide a ‘blank’ scrapbook for true customization.

A cool new site currently in beta, Plumkeeper, is described as ‘Family Journaling Made Easy’. This promising technology leverages everything consumers already do online –including emailed stories and photos, funny text messages, mobile photos, Facebook, Twitter and more. This makes for uber-authentic market research indeed– as it plucks from existing attitudes and behaviors in all their spontaneous authenticity. If I had a Mom or family-oriented product, I’d tap right into Plumkeeper for fresh and juicy insights.

Are You An E-Hole? The Six Tell-tale Signs.

Normally, when I’ve told friends “Hey! I’m writing a book”, the response is polite to vague to “I’m so sorry. I’ve given up reading for Lent.” In LA, they’re likely to suggest a fair exchange: I’ll read your book if you read my screenplay.  In Silicon Valley, they look blank until you explain that a book is kinda like a giant Wordle app or literary widget.  In New York, they immediately kvetch about agents while in Paris they offer to read it once smoking is reinstated in cafes.

But this book?  Amazingly, people have not only urged me to write it but to write it laser-fast. Three of my Twitter pals have already asked if the guide will be published in time for Christmas stocking stuffers. I’ve almost been persuaded to write an e-book first and then follow up with hard copy.

Is this because I am such a crackerjack writer? Although I’d love to say yes, the true answer is ‘probably not.’  The fact is, there is a clear and compelling, even urgent, need to make sense of the good, the bad and the blurry of the digital era, particularly the consumer-friendly, tool-rich phenomenon known as Web 2.0.  The Internet does genuinely ‘change everything’ — including the ethics and etiquette of how we use these tools. Countless books have already been published on this subject, many of them scholarly works of genius from academics that probe everything from user-generated content to mass collaboration to digital innovation and citizen marketing.  

If you’re looking for books of this decidedly brainy ilk, click to close and move on to Amazon or your local library. The goal of my upcoming guidebook is quite simple: to help keep you out of online doo-doo and encourage you to dip into this dynamic digital world. And maybe have some fun while you’re at it.
 
Here’s a small sampling from my new book:
How Not To Be An E-Hole:  The Ultimate Guide to Online Etiquette and Ethics.
 

Are You An E-Hole? The Six Tell-Tale Signs.

Sign 1:  Is Social Media all about you?  Social Media can indeed be Me Media.  Today’s tools make it fast and easy to get the word out about your inherent rockstar-ness. Isn’t everybody fascinated by the ham sandwich you had for lunch? Doesn’t the world want to know about your cool car, your hot bod and the gaggles of groupies hanging on your every tweet?  Smart folks see that switching from Me to We is the secret to shining at Social Media.  And yes, it is possible to be an E-Hole in only 140-characters:  http://tweetingtoohard.com/

Sign 2:  OverSharing  Over-sharing can occur on any of the Social Media channels. Over-Sharing is defined as sharing anything from the too-intimate details of your world (tweeting during your during your prostate exam) to the too-mundane (I had scrambled eggs for breakfast) to the too-frequent.

Sign 3:  Are you a FRAMMER?  Friends just ain’t what they used to be. In fact, my buddy Elizabeth Cohen, Senior Correspondent at CNN, who covered my recent Facebook Addiction story, believes the very definition of Friendship is at stake: “What exactly is a friend these days?”  Well, it sure isn’t FRAMMING them. Friend Spam is being spammed by your so-called Facebook Friends including:

• A barrage of shameless self-promoting links, events, fan pages, webinars, promos, etc.
• “Cherry-picking” among a Friends List — picking the most ‘useful’ for marketing and networking.

FRAM hurts more than traditional spam because, after all, it’s the ultimate in permission marketing. You haven’t merely signed up for an impersonal newsletter, you’ve opened the door wide to your life. You’re not an address on some database sold and re-sold by dead dotcoms. You’ve willingly extended an invitation to participate in your own personal universe.

Sign 4:  Uber-Exuberance   Apps, widgets, links, videos, photos — it’s a smorgasbord of Social Media tech and toys out there. Are you so sure all your friends want that ‘growing gift’ of cactus, that beer or cup of coffee you’re dying to send? Does everybody want to take that quiz, play 25 Random Things and beat you at movie trivia?  The sure sign of a Social Media newbie (and often Accidental E-Hole) is assuming everybody will appreciate these occasionally amusing time-wasters.

Sign 5: Where are the Privacy Police when you need them?  It’s true: Facebook keeps changing its interface, which confuses the heck out of who can see what. What was private on Tuesday may be part of a News Feed on Wednesday. So if you’re not careful about the changing-rules, your mother-in-law may be able to see the pictures of the dinner party she wasn’t invited to posted prominently in Highlights.  Or your boss might see that comment you made about ‘blowing off work’. Or your sorority sister might post racy stories about an era you’d prefer to forget on your Wall for all to see.  The secret to avoiding E-Holism?  Use the Privacy settings!

Sign 6: Keep It Social, Stupid.   Keeping it social means you never forget these new tools are all about people and being personal. Keeping it social means you avoid using robots as well as acting robotically. So personalize your Friend, Follow and Connection Requests, say no to Auto-DMs on Twitter, and develop new online relationships authentically. Don’t think you can FRAM like mad, never bother to check the youtube links your buddy proudly sent of her kidlet’s concert, and then expect favors, shares and RTs (Re-Tweets on Twitter).  Keeping it social is keeping it reciprocal. Friendship is a two-way conversation, not a Me-megaphone. 

Guru’s Note: Please send me your favorite E-Hole stories. Were you an Accidental E-Hole? Do you know an Intentional E-Hole? Do tell all. Email me at: hello@guruofnew.com or post a comment. Thank you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Should Sears Go Social?

 

I’m a Sears girl from way back. My Dual Action Agitator copy, in tandem with the poetic “Save $40 off on this big Kenmore Refrigerator” was nothing short of Steinbeckian. My advertising Alma mater, Ogilvy Chicago, worshipped on the altar of Sears.

So of course I was intrigued by the giant’s latest move — launching a new social network called MySears.

Brandweek reports the chain has registered more than 200,000 MySears users since it rolled out the site in late March. The look-alike site for sister chain MyKmart just launched a week ago. Both are powered by Chicago-based technology company Viewpoints Network.

Retail chain passionistas visiting MySears can express themselves via these increasingly ubiquitous Social Media features: taking polls, connecting with your fellow Sears buddies, creating a social profile, uploading photos, tagging, blogging, and participating in (my favorite part) the Ideas section.

Lest your passion for Sears not be completely fulfilled, consumers can also follow MySears and MyKMart on Facebook, YouTube, MySpace and Twitter.

According to the Brandweek report, Rob Harles, vp-community for Sears, said the chain’s goal is to glean new insights from customers and give the brand more of a human face. “Ultimately we’re going to try to use this to first and foremost learn about our customers and secondly use those lessons and use that to integrate that into the shopping experience,” Harles said.

Hmm. Translated from the marketing-ese, that sounds suspiciously one-sided. ‘First we’re going to study you and then we’re going to use what we’ve learned to figure out how to sell you more stuff.’  The headline for the site lays it out clearly, assuming you’re there to shop : “Get Advice Before You Buy.”

Obviously I’ve no quarrel with using Social Media to figure out how to better reach customers and improve sales. Profit rocks, especially these days. But it doesn’t take more than 30 seconds of rudimentary Social Media listening tools to tap into the existing conversation about Sears. Much of what’s being said isn’t pretty. Shouldn’t some of this chatter be answered first? (Kind of like cleaning the house before we invite a gaggle of guests over for a big party) Shouldn’t resolving negatives be the first priority of any customer-first company, much less the mission of a new participatory consumer site?

A sampling:

RITBeast: Reminder: Never have any dealings with #sears unless you feel like gouging your own eyes out and stepping on them while being nut-kicked.

legallush: Listening to Sear tech suck dryer lint from my hoses in laundry. Stupid dryer gets hot but doesn’t dry. #sears

glamorousamanda: Rant end. Do not buy products from #Sears. They will not honor their warrenty nor do they care if your home catches fire from products!

MySears Ideas: Listen Sears…….. people WANT to buy from you but you make it harder and harder.

Do we really need all the Social Media window dressing around what should be the main course — serving customers? Couldn’t we just have one colossal: CLICK HERE FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE button, with some seriously vetted reviews posted below it and an in-depth Peer 2 Peer Forum?

This road feels strangely familiar. Over the years, in Customer Experience projects for both Microsoft and Yahoo, we worked hard to ‘put a human face’ on these mammoth empires via an array of social media features. But whatever we tried, all anybody ever wanted to do with these pieces-of-corporate-humanity was find somebody to fix their email, browser, software, personals ad or just plain rant. This is why Yahoo Answers was such an instant hit. Human beings simply want their questions answered, especially when said questions revolve around things they paid for. They don’t necessarily need Friends or Polls or Pictures, unless it’s a photo of that broken microwave door they need replaced.

So what should this new MySpacian MySears do to avoid the fate of the late, not-great The Hub, built and quickly dismantled by Walmart back in 2006?

• Let MySears evolve organically. Let the community spell out over time what it wants and needs from the site and its satellites. Are users primarily interested in broadcast tweets about upcoming sales? Are they flocking to the discussion boards? Engaged communities vote with their attention.
• Manage site expectations. Research whyconsumers are visiting and where they came from. Did the majority find their way there because they think the site is devoted to customer service? Did someone post a Craftsman discount link on a couponing site, sending an avalanche of users in search of it? 
• Accept that consumers create their own uses for sites and social media features – including their own ideas of how products should be tagged –which may have little to do with your intentions for your brand. Just for fun, go visit Amazon’s Customer Communities and check out some of the Revenge-Tags, including some of the DefectiveByDesign tags.
• Find your Frank Eliasons (@Comcastcares) and empower your staff to participate as Tony Hsieh has done so successfully with @Zappos. Be careful of ‘ghost’ tweeters or posters. Don’t rely on your Viewpoints vendor to substitute for real Sears employees. Kudos to BlueCrewGuyinMA, who’s all over the site, answering questions and in general acting as the site’s Go To Guy.
• Encourage usage of the Discussion section, with its fledgling Peer to Peer type forum.  Many of your customer-service seeking users will be satisfied with this kind of help, as they frequently do yield real solutions to customer problems.
• Research potential Passionista segments a la the Craftsman Club and nurture them with ego-rewards as well as discounts and insider information.
• I like the potential of the Ideas section on MySears,which reminds me of Dell IdeaStorm. Like Dell, after the Dell Hell debacle, Sears needs to heal itself before it can roar back. So far, the “We Listened. See Ideas in Action” is empty. Let’s hope this changes soon.
• And finally, have some fun with the site.  The intrinsic beauty of social networking is that it’s supposed to be lighthearted. So have a Tweet-Up in the Craftsman aisle. Partner with Family Journaling site Plumkeeper and have a “Kids Say the Darndest Things (About their Dads)” Contest and invite your Facebook Community Moms to enter. Set up a Linkedin group for Retail Innovators.

So should Sears go social?

Guru’s Note: What I found oddly fascinating is @MySears use of Twitter — particularly its choice of who to follow. Smart Tweeters often check a Twitter ID’s first Follows as it can reveal either strategy or the threat of spam. In this case, @MySears has 923 Followers so far — and is Following 1995. But here’s the reveal: the first SIX of rows of Twitter IDs @MySears has chosen to follow are all variations on Mama: @CursingMama, @PsychoMama, @GeekMama, @Baby_Mama, @TheCreativeMama. So far, none of these Mom-tweeps appear to be tweeting like mad on behalf of @MySears like @ResourcefulMom does when promoting one of her many popular Site-Warming Parties. So one can only assume either all these Mamas are close personal friends of @MySears or that someone has advised them to cozy up to Influencer Moms on Twitter. Given the robust purchase power of the 80+ million Moms in the US who spend some 2 trillion every year, it’s no surprise @MySears would sagely search keyword: Mama.

What’s Wolfram/Alpha and Why Should You Care?

I’m feeling somewhat Ginger-like, with a smidgen of HAL 9000 thrown in.

True Geeks will remember when Segway was dubbed ‘Ginger‘ and Geeks as notable and prescient as Steven Jobs and Jeff Bezos claimed it would be as ‘big as the PC’.

We all know HAL 9000, the soft-spoken. lip-reading computer.

So when I started hearing about a revolutionary new search engine called Wolfram/Alpha and the usual pundits began to wax nerdily eloquent, my Ginger-be-smudged cynicism seeped in. Was this “computational knowledge engine” a Google-killer? Would we all soon be getting answers to our raging questions rather than diligently searching for them? And didn’t we already try the Q & A thing via a perky butler named Ask Jeeves?

The newfangled search engine Wolfram|Alpha is different than Google or Yahoo. Ask it a question — one that involves something like National Pi Day or a wallop of statistics– and it will speedily deliver an answer based on its avalanche of curated data and ‘Mathematica’ technology. One hundred brainiacs, led by Brit Stephen Wolfram, a physics prodigy who won a MacArthur Foundation “genius grant” at 21, are sitting in Champaign, IL, feeding the knowledge base reams of data.. As you might guess, science is Wolfie’s strong suit, but it also knows plenty about technology, geography, weather, cooking, business, travel, people, music, and more.

Let’s say you start with some ego-surfing questions. Try your birthday or your name. This is how I discovered Esther Dyson and I have the same birthday and that there are 871,156 Sarahs currently alive in the US. Wolfie will also candidly admit when he’s stumped, and tell you he’s not sure what to do with your input. I got that response when I typed in: “Brett Favre, Packers.” (Truthfully, NO ONE knows what to do with that input.)

Wolfram/Alpha ponies up graphical answers when appropriate, and also suggests other sources of information.

The Geeks on Twitter have been playing with the search engine since Friday night’s official launch via Justin.tv — and as of noon today, Wolfie already had some 4100 fans on its Facebook page. Many are already discovering Wolfram Alpha’s ‘Easter Eggs’ tucked inside its masses of data, just waiting for the perfect question to show off its geeky humor.

Zenspace: Mashable’s 20 Wolfram Alpha Easter Eggs are why I LOVE the Internet — http://tinyurl.com/p24mb8 and http://bit.ly/14rCRW #wolframalpha

nickhebb: Wolfram|Alpha is fun. If this is baby’s first steps, imagine what it will be like when its old enough to drive

Jaielle: #wolfram alpha still needs more work… it can find “square root of ten million” but not “square root of 10 million”

For all its obvious brilliance, I don’t expect Wolfram|Alpha to go mainstream anytime soon. But then I didn’t expect the new Star Trek movie to go mainstream either!

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Aye, Maties! Facebook Lets You Talk Like A Pirate Everyday.

If there’s one burning question that’s plagued our civilization for centuries it would have to be: Pirates or Ninjas?

In the midst of this eternally raging battle, along came a swarthy crew of real Somali pirates and as quickly as you can say yo-ho-ho, all ‘ayes’ turned away from the landlubbing Ninjas. Now Facebook has joined in on the rogue-ishly viral fun with its Easter-eggish language pack switch, which allows you to change your language to English (Pirate). Simply scroll down to the bottom of the page and ‘Arrrrrrrr —!’

So don’t wait for International Talk Like A Pirate Day on September 19th — walk the plank today, me hearties!

On Twitter: #pirates, #facebook, #ninjas

Guru’s Note: This feature was available back in September but I only recently discovered it via a Tweet last week. Facebook’s Pirate English is a trip, if a little bizarre when you try to decipher the Blackbeardish lingo on your page. But here’s what I love: I am so heartily tired of the deadly serious tone Social Media has taken. Share has been buried by sell; analytics are intoned like gospel; even the @aplusk (Ashton) versus CNN million-followers contest was blighted by pseudo do-gooder games and Machiavellian manuevers. Folks, this is Social Media. It’s supposed to be at least a little bit lighthearted. I watch as the posts roll in and and OMG, it’s pure pontification. Yes, it is business (in all candor, one I make a good living from) but Mon Dieu! Even the ad world eventually figured out their viewers don’t want to be bored to death. Maybe a bottle o’ rum might help?

Meet Carri Bugbee, aka @PeggyOlson.

One of the many serendipities of social media is meeting up with like-minded tweeps you may never have encountered otherwise. This is the case of Carri Bugbee and me. Somehow, while tweeting, we discovered we were both journalism majors at the University of Oregon and that we’d been mentored by the same uber-motivating professor, Dr. Winter. (Funny. We’re both blonde, both wear trippy glasses. Hmm.) We’ve also had similar experiences in traditional ad agencies.

What I didn’t know until the night of the Twitter Shorty Awards was that @CarriBugbee is also@peggy olson. I’d been tweeting up a storm, voting in a frenzy, and even connecting with @peggyolson on Linkedin (we both went to Miss Deaver’s School), all without guessing that savvy Carri was masquerading as the Mad Men copywriter. Since then Carri has gone on to even more fame-and-fortune via this week’s Ad Age and BusinessWeek.com covers.

So Social Media Slowbees, if you’re looking for a compelling reason to jump on board, re-read the above. Meeting someone who knew Dr. Winter when has been a joy. Even better, my Tweeting buddy has turned out to be a true social media innovator and all-around kick-ass ad-babe.

Read Carri Bugbee’s bio here:

“I am the proprietor of Big Deal PR (www.bigdealpr.com), a virtual agency that provides marketing and PR on demand for innovative businesses and organizations. I have 20 years experience in traditional advertising and PR, but I’ve embraced online marketing with a vengeance, including social networking, social media, search marketing, and all things Web 2.0. I am marketing agnostic and only recommend what is right for my clients. I don’t use new whiz-bang technologies just because they are available, nor do I espouse the tried and true if that’s not the right approach. Regardless of the tools available, I believe that astute strategies and compelling messages are still the foundation for helping clients get noticed and for propelling their businesses forward. I’ve always worked with entrepreneurs and businesses in creative services and technology, but have experience in many other categories as well. ”

Follow this Portland luminary on Twitter: @carribugbee.

Guru’s Note: I just learned via her Ad Age video that I may also be inadvertently following Carri on her jazz ID as well. As many of you know, we’re a longtime Monterey Jazz Festival family and my daughter is part of the Vocal Jazz Collective at Berkeley — (next gig is at Anna’s Jazz Island on April 23rd.)  Definitely a smaller world these days!

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